Dear Twenties.

I turned 30 last week. I know, what?! Also, I have a chronic illness and first started having health issues when I was 20, and it’s not easy to sit with the fact that it’s officially been 10 years since having my first headache, that still hasn’t fully gone away.

10 birthdays of being in pain. And ironically, the past week was one of the most debilitating weeks of severe pain I’ve had in a while. By the time Friday afternoon came around, I was much improved, but still thought about calling off all birthday celebrations for the sake of playing it safe. But I decided to show up anyway—decked out in space ball hair and an oversized jumper (#90’s). And it was actually perfect.

First of all, because I think everyone should end a killer migraine week by getting dressed up and throwing a party with people who show up to celebrate you.

But also, because, once again, the joy of relationship…showing up and believing genuine connection is still possible, even when I feel like I have absolutely nothing to give. Because Friday, I literally had nothing to give. But I was forced to receive. And my heart was so, so, fed by it (+ the mr feeny videos + choker revival + dance club appearance😂).

Dear twenties,

Thanks for introducing me to real people. Who show up. When I have nothing to give. And also, a God that wants to do nothing more for me than just that. I had a slight glimpse of this before, and now you’ve given me years of joy-filled moments to prove it. I am incredibly grateful for you…but, I’m also not sad to say goodbye.

See you never.
And—i love you.
C.

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