As many know, pre-Migraine and sensitive nervous system Carrie was most definitely an athlete at heart, and a girl that loved to run and bike and swim and do all the things as much as possible. My high school CC team went to state two times, and in that whole era and beyond, running was totally a daily ritual for me, as a space to pray and process feelings, boost my energy, and explore all the pretty places. Enter: my broken brain twelve years ago, and it became clear it would be pretty hard to hold onto this part of me, but boy did I fight. Those first few months of my health taking an unexpected turn, I put on my running shoes multiple times, only to notice an increase in my head pain pretty quickly upon starting, followed by a sense of sheer exhaustion rather than the post running high I was used to experiencing. After a couple attempts to swim and bike and noticing the same thing, while also you know, needing to finish college, I put athlete Carrie to rest and only hoped someday I’d see her again.
That girl did get her college degree, and a master’s to follow. But as you can imagine, she also lost. a. lot. of. muscle in the meantime (especially with how much she needed naps). Entering the working world still really didn’t leave any more margin for giving any attention to this problem–that is, until a little something called a global pandemic came around….and I knew exactly what I needed to spend time on while the rest of life came to a halt.
Beginning with the easiest version of my mom’s strength training routine from her Strong Women class full of ladies maybe, at least, a few decades older than me, then followed by PT, biking, and eventually, soccer, the next few years became the era of tending to athlete Carrie, and getting to know how much she can handle before Migraine-Carrie fights back. Enter last summer? After two seasons of soccer and learning extra magnesium and a little rest the next day made that (hard, but lifegiving &) doable, I thought I’d attempt to put my running shoes back on. Fast forward to this year, and I decided it was about time to try a 5k, especially knowing there’d be one specifically focused on raising money for migraine research in my OWN neighborhood at the beginning of Aug.
I didn’t tell a lot of people about this goal, because, up until race day itself, I genuinely had no idea if I’d actually accomplish it. I followed no plan, apart from, starting in May, heading out after the sun went down to run 3-4x a week around my neighborhood, as long and far as my body allowed. By the time the end of July came around, I did some actual 5ks and confidently deemed them doable (though anything longer than that would be a complete gamble).
Enter: race day, hours before Mke’s historic flood, with, unlike literally every other day surrounding it, a high of 90 degrees and raging humidity. I cringed every single time I checked the forecast that week, but resolved to drink a buncha salt and water and eat so many hamburgers and salmon and tuna (i don’t even like tuna) leading up to the day in attempt to still pull it off. The night before I picked up two big bags of ice to put to use the whole morning.
That morning, my whole family came (sans Chicago brother) along with some friends, and a long story short-I finished. My friends cheered from the sidelines, pouring ice on my face before, during, and after the race, which might have literally kept me alive, while my family participated as walkers, and the whole thing was such a gift. I felt pretty strong until the very end, and felt humbled the whole time by the support along the way–first, through the event itself, a morning dedicated to raising awareness of how this silent disease can be so life altering, with hopes of raising funds for more research, and second, through those that showed up to cheer and participate. Every time I ran by friends and family I teared up a little bit, as they cheered me on while I was, quite literally, fighting Migraine to achieve a goal, which is such a microcosm of sorts when it comes to how life goes for me. First without God’s grace, and second, without the people in my life, I’m not sure how I’d have finished the race without them, just like any other challenge.
Unfortunately, to this day, I haven’t *totally* conquered how to be a runner without any adverse effects or extra support for the brain (running me loves Tylenol and Magnesium even more). That being said, I have reached the point where I really, really enjoy doing it (a miracle from where I was last summer). And although post-race was rough, I wasn’t sore at all, didn’t end up with crazy sleepless nights from the pain, and a couple days later, I was recovered without going to the hospital. I’ve reigned in the running since then, experimenting with shorter/faster runs just a couple days a week, but every single time, I’m still grateful to get time with running Carrie, who serves as a great reminder that, although it may look different than it used to and calls for WAY more of God’s grace and hail mary’s, there’s still so much my body can accomplish. These days, I love her for that. (even when this isn’t the case, I do love her, too–just get a little more annoyed. 😉 )
